This is what I do. This is why I do it. This is my favorite story.
December 13, 2008
Dear whoever finds this please just read my letter,
I was checking my emails and I got one that looked a little strange. The sender was spiderroom. Nothing else. Just spiderroom. There was no subject attached to it at all. Of course, I opened the email and there was no text. There was an attached file that was called spiderroom.mp4. I don’t know what this video had on it, and I had no clue who sent it to me. It’s a bit unnerving to find something as seemingly traceless as this. It almost made me feel like I was being watched for a reaction by some eyes of an unknown source. So to get rid of this strange feeling, I decided to do some research first.
I searched up spiderroom on Google and I just got images of spiders. All the websites that came up were related to people who like to collect arachnids as a hobby. I clicked around and just saw forums of spider enthusiasts asking questions and giving advice. None of the websites were called spiderroom, and aside from the spider part nothing seemed to connect to the email. But I will admit, the beady eyes of the creatures that would only naturally show up after searching this irked me. It was almost like they were looking at me…judging me.
I tried another search. This time, it was spiderroom.mp4. And this time, I did find something. The first result was a webpage called spiderroom. It was spelled exactly like the email. This seemed like it was relevant, so I clicked on it. I was taken to a webpage with a strange red background, and simple text. It looked poorly made honestly but god if that didn’t make me feel even more like it was trying to ward me away. It was like I was one wrong click away from irreversible danger. I’ll copy and paste the text from the webpage below.
Under it was a picture of a tarantula, and a link that said something about taking you to the collection. I didn’t know what it was, but I thought for sure it couldn’t be anything serious. People on the internet make up shit like this all the time. Something about it was kind of unnerving. Maybe it’s just the mystery of it all. This definitely seems like a prank or some copypasta.
I clicked the link to the collection and it sent me to a welcome page.There was also bright red text that spelled out warning. I’ve copied and pasted the text below.
I started to get a bit nervous, but I never did anything wrong. No one I know would even know how to get to this website. None of my friends are exactly accustomed to the internet and avoid using it at all costs, as it can be confusing. Someone must’ve found my email and is trying to be funny and honestly I think it’s stupid. Even after all my reasoning, I felt a chill at the thought of someone watching me right now, seeing me wander right into this website.
I wanted to get rid of the mystery already. I went back to my email and opened the video.
It started with a black screen and then cut to a video of a girl. She didn’t look right at all. She looked malnourished, and her eyes looked like she was watching you from the other side of the screen. Her voice was hard to listen to, but that was likely because of the bad quality of the video. It was hard to see her, she almost looked like a floating head. The only light seemed to be coming from her computer screen, and her black hair and clothes blended in with the dark behind her.
She talked about a man who was being unfaithful to his wife. The man had two kids with her, but he didn’t care for them and only wanted to leave the relationship and his kids. So, he killed them and put their bodies in garbage bags, then tossed them in the lake.
She talked on and on about how pathetic this man was. She seemed to get more and more angry, like a psycho. She was screaming at this point, then she took the whole laptop and the camcorder with it when she seemingly threw it at a wall. The clip ended and the screen was black for a few seconds. After a while the video showed the girl again. This time she was outside, lugging a black trash bag. I wanted to look away because I already knew what it was going to be. She ripped open the bag and picked up the camera. She positioned it and pulled something out of the bag. I saw myself. My eyes were still open. Just like my wife’s when I looked at her one last time before putting her body in the late.
“It’s all connected.”, was all the girl said.
For ten seconds she kept the camera focused on my own face. I watched myself. She kept a clear view as she stood up. The clip cuts to the camera zooming in on the garbage bag, disappearing to the bottom of the lake. Somehow I was still watching myself…I was in the bag. I just knew it.
I can feel her watching me. I watched myself die. I swear it wasn’t a bad thing at the time. My wife and kids couldn’t live without me. They’d be so heartbroken, they wouldn’t be able to live. This was for the best. I didn’t do anything wrong.
I can feel her watching me right now. I feel like a specimen being watched and poked around. She sees me. I know she knows she’s getting to me. She knows what I did. How does she have a video of me dying? It couldn’t have been me because I’m right here.
I can’t live with this. I’m so sorry for killing them. I’m so sorry. I know it’s selfish. I’m so sorry.
My reasons were pathetic and my suicide note is pathetic. I feel like she’s laughing at me from somewhere. Every dark crevice has eyes peering out at me. I see her for a split second then she’s gone once I blink. I don’t know if it’s all in my head but I swear she’s there. It all feels so real.
I’ll be printing this at the library, and I’ll dread my own death while I do so. I know it’s coming closer whether it’s by my own hand or her’s. I know on my walk there she’ll be in the corner of my eye, judging me. I know that as I sit and wait for these papers, she’ll be in a dark corner with wide eyes. Then before I can see her and really know where she is, she’ll be gone again.
If she could at least stay in plain view, I’ll know she’s really there. I’ll know where she is and how far I have to run. But this feeling of her watching me then completely disintegrating within my vision right as I look at her is killing me. The flashes of memory of my body in a trash bag is killing me. In every dark corner those fucking spiders with their thin legs and beady eyes will stare me down and observe me lie a specimen even if they’re the ones that deserve to be looked at behind a glass wall. I can’t reach out and kill them while they hide and look at me. I can’t run away from her as she’s stalking me. I just have to live knowing she’s there…somewhere.
It’s like I can feel the wispy legs of a spider on my arms now. Then when I look its gone away. The fear of seeing one then when you go to look, it’s gone. Just like that girl. She’s here somewhere. I know she is. She’s after me and she will kill me. Just like in the video.
I deserve to feel this hopelessness. This fear. I killed my own family.
I’ve stayed composed until now. Whoever finds this please share it. Do not do the same thing I did. Don’t make such a terrible mistake. She’ll find you and you’ll have a spiderroom video for yourself. I tried to stay calm. But every passing moment sends me closer to death.
I’m killing myself tonight. I’m not waiting for her to do it for me.
Goodbye, Theo Thorne
